i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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