He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
