Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
