Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
