I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
