i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
