I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
