the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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