Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
