yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
