its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
