Sponge bath it is.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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