This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
