About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
