is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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