so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
