I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
