just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
