i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
