It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
