Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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