I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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