wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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