im having a threesome with these popsicles
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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