why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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