That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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