I didn't shave. On purpose
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
