It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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