Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
