Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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