All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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