I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I cut my penus on the lid.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
