the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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