dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
