Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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