I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
