If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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