who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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