A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
