When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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