You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
