Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
