I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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