Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
