I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
