He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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