Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
