im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
