Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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