Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
