ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
