Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
