i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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