dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
